Saturday, August 28, 2010

The myth of having to learn to run a household

Recently, while on the blog of a young couple lately married, I was reading the post telling of the couple’s first few months together and all those fun little things like meals and house hunting. But, I found one comment on this post highly amusing. Basically, the young woman commenting said that when she married she was surprised to find how little time it took to cook, clean, and do laundry for only two people. Yeah, only two…. You see, it’s what I’ve been saying for a long time about all this “preparing for marriage hoopla” that is constantly being pressed upon young ladies in the homeschooling community. There’s this strange amnesia that comes over these “daughters at home” speakers and they seem to forget that when you first marry…there are only two of you. That’s right. Two. And then, there may be three…. Just how much laundry do you think you’ll do when you first get married? It seems to me that those touting the “daughters at home” ritual have either brain injuries…or no imagination… or they want young women to be prepared to have triplets. Apparently, multiple births must be normal in such cases since it’s important for the daughters to know in advance how to do laundry for twelve people. :-D Only eventually, over a period of years, there may be more children―in which case, both the amounts laundry and food preparation gradually increase. Kids come in one or twos (and maybe threes but not often)…not fives and sixes and tens! They train you! Which means, and hang on to your hat now, a woman can learn as she goes (and her new husband can too… don’t these guys know how to wash dishes?). *gasp* Could it be? You don’t have to know how to cook for 10 before you’re married!!?? No! Alas! It is true! Even you can learn how to be a homemaker and parent by being one after you’re married!!
Look, there’s nothing wrong with being accomplished…. I know how to cook and sew and do laundry…and I’m not married yet. My guy likes that I’m accomplished, he says it challenges him to learn be accomplished himself… accomplishment is a good thing. But it’s not my chief end and goal in life. I don’t find my fulfillment in making the perfect turtle cheesecake. Being accomplished is not the only thing that matters. The thing that matters most in anyone is his or her faith in God and having a personal relationship with Jesus. People, of any age, should also be working on their character and growing in maturity and knowledge. Knowing how to run a household and take care of children is just one little tiny part of what anyone should know before they marry. It is totally wrong and unbiblical for anyone to make an idol out of a young lady’s ability to cook, clean, and do laundry. It’s not who they are...a young lady’s worth is not measured by how well she can cook for ten. Shame on anyone who thinks that cooking and cleaning is all a girl can do with her life and that it’s the only thing that matters.