Return of the Zombies

Brother: "You might think the above is just a bad picture, no that's pretty much how they look through the whole thing."

I just watched Return of the Daughters… I’d seen it once but I wanted to see it again. So I borrowed a copy from a friend. Not just any copy… this one is autographed by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin themselves! They actually touched it!!!!

Now I’m watching it so you don’t have to and blogging as I watch. I got this idea from Sparknotes after someone blogged the Royal Wedding on the Sparklife blog. Should be interesting, yes? It brings out my sarcastic side. My siblings and Mom were in and out of the room as I watched and I warn you, we all think we’re rather witty.

Nice Menu.

Ah, nice logo.

First shot… Adam, Eve, and snake accompanied by a monotone voiceover. Only the first second and I’m already creeped out.

Okay, montage of women working in the home.

Cut to Botkin sisters… staring blankly at the camera. (Look Below). Yipes. Do they ever blink? Let’s rewind and see. Elizabeth: 4 blinks. Anna Sophia: 6 blinks. Nice hair, but please, quit posing.

Did these people in the city scene montage know they were being filmed? Why is the area under some of the women’s faces blurred?

Me to Mom: How could anybody take this seriously?

Model shown in store looks a lot like Anna Sophia.

“Today’s post-family society” Whhhhaaat? I had to listen to that several times because I kept thinking they left out the word “modern” which would have made more sense.

“Today’s girls tend to follow the demands of today’s culture to achieve its definition of popularity and success, measured by public acclaim, college, degrees and big paychecks.” Take away the college and degree and you have the Botkin sisters.

Brother: “This video is creeping me out.”

Brother: “What are these? The daughters of the dominion?” (See Road to Avonlea)

“That’s right! These girls have chosen to spend their single years with their families!” How is that any different from me choosing to live at home while going to school in order to be near my immediate and extended family?

And what happens if a daughter is called to go to college or into missions work? Will her family support her then?

“They are doing it for reasons of principle that they are discovering in the Bible.” Discovering? How did we manage to miss these “principles” for the last 2000 years? Bible verses anyone?

Quit with the fake drama already!

Introduction Bible Verse count: 0.

Now on to the Valenti family

Elizabeth Botkin is sooooo creepy looking!!!

Where is Mrs. Valenti?

Does Katie get paid?

It sounds like a nice job… I wish we all could work for our father’s businesses!

Katie: “My youth” ―she’s 23. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

“The Bible teaches that younger women and older women…their main sphere of influence is in the home.” Citation???

Mr. Valenti: “Their main focus is to try to be keepers at home … eventually they could be helpers to their husbands. And so that’s what I’m to teach my daughters and I think it’s based on the scriptures. Not think, I know.” Really? Since you know so much why don’t you tell us which scripture verse(s)?

Look how wealthy they are…

“She could be off having babies in another state..” ?? That’s kind of a weird way to put it!

Psalm 144:12. A scripture verse!!!

A corner pillar means to that daughters are “supposed to have a supporting and beautifying role in the home.” Interesting literal interpretation.

Brother: (to Anna Sophia) “You look like a robot.”

Malachi 4:6. ("He [Elijah/John the Baptist] will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.”) Somewhat out of context here.

Why is Katie talking about submission? There’s nothing about being “submissive” (as you would be to a husband) to your father in the Bible.

“Seek to glorify my heavenly father first and please and honor my earthly father as well.” Really?

“Being away at school…” Did Katie go away to school for awhile?

Psalm 45:15 ("Led in with joy and gladness, they enter the palace of the king.")

Why was Katie so mean and demeaning to others? Why was she feeling so guilty? Sounds like she was very unhappy…. I don’t really understand this part.

Why would they all have their own “selfish, individual lives”? That doesn’t make any sense. I love my family and I’m really close to them but I still have my own interests and no one thinks I have a selfish, individual life.

That home is so big I wouldn’t want to leave it either!

Elizabeth: “The Valenti home is no longer a lonely place of retreat and self-centered entertainment as so many American homes.” Now they’re just being mean. :-D

It is “commanded in the scriptures that Christians are supposed to be hospitable.” Command seems a strong word… hospitality is an overflowing of the love that we have for others. If we try to force it, it’s not hospitality.

“We had nine televisions going all at once…” Whhhaat? I don’t understand…. Was the whole family saved at one time?

Too much garlic!!! I hope they’re blanching it before using in one recipe. (See Julia Child)

Scripture count: 3.

Now on to the Bauchum family!

“I wanted to be a screenwriter. I wanted to go to New York University.” – Jasmine. Those are high and beautiful callings. I’m sorry that Jasmine wasn’t allowed to follow those dreams.

“Jasmine and her father have reevaluated…” Where is Mrs. Bauchum? Doesn’t she evaluate?

“In light of their scriptural discoveries” Explain! Inquiring minds want to know where this is in the Bible!

Why did Jasmine feel like she was going behind her father’s back to live out her dreams?

“One of America’s leading Bible scholars and teachers of apologetics.” I’d never heard of him but I have heard of James Montgomery Boyce, Warren Wiersbe, and other scholars.

Do they have to exaggerate everyone’s credentials? Can’t one of these people be ordinary?

Why would it feel weak or wrong for Jasmine to need her father? Why did she have to get past that? I need my father and don’t feel bad about it―it doesn’t make me feel weak.

Voddie: “Interestingly enough, the Bible doesn’t command women to be independent. It commands them to be submissive.” Scripture reference?? All women are commanded to be submissive? It doesn’t command men to be independent either! In fact, we’re all supposed to submit to God and each other!

Why is Voddie talking about the Fall? We’re not under the curse anymore! Believers are under grace! He doesn’t quote any scriptures and basically paints a very bleak picture of what life for women should look like…. What a terrible explanation of the Genesis story. Protecting her from wanting to take over the man’s role? That’s what you’re concerned about?

How does Jasmine know that staying home is more intellectually stimulating? She’d never tried college at this point.

In parts, Jasmine doesn’t seem happy. She looks like she’s about to cry.

And where is Mrs. Bauchum again??

Condoleezza Rice worked for the United States not for only George W. Bush. Does this man even understand politics?

And, uh, Voddie? Why are you using Condoleezza Rice to help support your view?

Anna Sophia: Referencing creation “woman was created for the man to be the perfect and complementary helper suitable to man for his vision.” Adam had no vision. God told him what to do and he did it. We’re a people of revelation, not a people of vision. Adam didn’t start digging things up going, “Hey God, here’s my vision of what I can do for you!” Adam WAITED on God and His leading.

Token showing of portrait of Mrs. Bauchum!!

What’s up with the chanting/vocalizing in the background?

My sister: (on Anna Sophia) “She looks scared,”

Voddie: “Helping is not a role woman only assume upon marriage…” Well, duh and yet, to what kind of helping are you referring?

Daddy?!!!? How old are you?????

Voddie can’t do his own research?? How did he manage to get his Ph. D?

Does Mrs. Bauchum do anything? Is Jasmine the surrogate wife? Why is Voddie doing everything with Jasmine?

“Am I willing to sacrifice my daughter on the altar of pleasing men?” Weird, weird wording!
She’s not your’s, she’s God’s!

Why is he acting like Jasmine is a piece of property? Why can’t he just give her over to God and trust God? Why does he feel like he has to micromanage every aspect of her life?

Brother: (during Voddie’s speech) Boy, you’re *very* humble.

It’s sad that Jasmine felt like a double minority in public. Doesn’t she have any friends?

Jasmine is pretty likeable actually...I wish she had a different Dad.

Bible Verse Count: 0 (Unless you consider a vague reference to Genesis 2 by Anna Sophia) This seems surprising considering Voddie is one of “America’s leading Bible scholars”. *rolls eyes*

Keen Family!!

Dedicated to promoting the message of father daughter unity???

Melissa is 25... Is she married now?

Aside―All of these girls in the documentary/propaganda film have super nice hair… seriously, it’s very nice. And they’re all really attractive. Hmmm… what happens to the other, less attractive girls?

So what does Melissa do if there isn’t a home business?

*And everyone in the room cringes as Elizabeth the zombie appears on the screen.*

How nice they organize conferences to restore the biblical family.

Nice hat.

Trust walks shown for the Father-Daughter retreat― aren’t they supposed to be unbiblical? (See Spiritual Junk Food)

Loving the flowery description of Melissa’s job…Really she books the event and arranges the high tea? Duh! That’s what a conference organizer does!

How inane.

Really short section!

Bible Verse count: 0.

Torres Family

At least the girls get to do target shooting….

Since when do people think that a lady is a china doll? None of my guy friends or relatives act like that around me!

Isn’t this the nanny for the Phillips family? How does she explain that she works?

Me: (yelling at the TV) WHAT? WHERE IS HER EYE PROTECTION? GLOVES!? You NEVER use power tools (ESPECIALLY TABLE SAWS!!!) without protection. AHHHHH!!

“My father’s vision for me….” And what about God’s vision?

“They help serve their community and other families…” By nannying, I suppose. Do the Phillips’ pay her for her work?

Brother: (seeing the blurred out immodesty) Ha. Hhe WHAT?? It’s not like they’re naked or something.

Oh, that’s very tolerant of them… blurring out a women’s entire midsection. Um, hello, Botkins, if this bugs you, don’t use the footage!

Elizabeth says that Lourdes and her family work “as invaluable assets to the community.” Yup. Nannying for the Phillips “community.”

Unmarried young women “are becoming known nationwide as the secret weapon of the church. What? I’ve never heard of them. Do you think we can possibly exaggerate any further?

“In the Spirit of Titus 2” Which doesn’t technically apply to unmarried women!

Still missing the protection with the powertools! Eek! Put some safety glasses on!

It’s really not that counter-cultural of a lifestyle. Why do they all have hero complexes?

Bible Verse Count: 0. (Titus 2 not actually given)

And now the one and only Bradrick family!

Anna Sophia: (on Peter and Kelly Bradrick) “Photos of their first kiss have been circulated worldwide” Yipes!

Kelly doesn’t look very healthy… she looks totally different from her wedding photos.

Is a husband really a sanctification tool? Oh… uh, maybe they should use a different word. *snicker* Naiveté is not always good. :-D

Peter Bradrick is so ugly. Those ears….

Brother: “He looks like an elf. A Keebler elf.”

Peter wrote “a series of theological papers” for Scott Brown? Weird.

Daddy? Kelly, you’re kinda old to be calling him that.

What’s up with all the posed, professional, sepia-toned pictures? Why do all of these people have horrible cases of narcissism?

So, the marriage wasn’t arranged by Mr. Brown but Kelly’s strongest indication of the Lord’s will was the approval of her parents. Isn’t that circular reasoning?

Kelly: “Peter was the fulfillment…” Was? Not is? You’re still married to him Kelly.

Deborah is actually interviewed!!!

A Bible verse! No citation but partly quoted. Proverbs 22:6. (Train up a child...)

Sister: “I find that highly offensive!” On Peter’s comment about getting a nursing degree, marrying and shelving it, and then having to learn homemaking skills. My sister is a nurse and knows how to cook, clean, and take care of a house. I don’t think Peter has the slightest idea what he’s talking about and ends up sounding very ignorant and foolish.

Scott couldn’t plan his own schedule? What did he do once she left? Are these jobs given to daughters really that important if the parents can take over once the daughter marries and leaves?

Amazing, she had access to her parent’s credit card and checkbook! No!! Say it isn’t so! Oh brother.
They make even paying bills sound like an epic journey. Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

Sister (to Peter): And you think you’re prince charming?

Again, where are all these posed photos coming from?

Kelly quotes 1 Corinthians 7!!! Says an unmarried woman has freedom from the responsibilities of a wife. Then, why do they insist that being a daughter is just like being a wife? Why would Paul write that knowing that a daughter would be doing the same things as a wife and then be distracted by serving her father? Contradiction! PLOT HOLE! Hooray for scripture that contradicts your entire theory!

Scott: “I wanted her to know that she was going to marry a male…a man…” Weird way of putting that comment….

Brother: Well, I sure hope she doesn’t think she’s marrying a woman!

Did these people even jot down ideas before they sat in front of the camera? They really need a good proofreader.

Brother (to Peter): Well, I don’t know who you’re hanging out with! (on Peter’s comment on what his friends are looking for in women).

Poor Kelly.

Cue the epic music!

Bible verse count: 2. (sort of)

And now back to the Botkin zombies!

*Everyone jumps a little as Anna Sophia eye-locks the camera with a dead, blank stare*

Zombie.

That’s right Elizabeth! Keep pouting!

Families don’t have to conform to “Narrow, ritualistic regulations”? Really? All the families seemed nearly the same to me!

“Biblical principles” and where are these principles found??

Scott Brown: A father needs a “big” “vision for what God wants him to do”… well, bless his heart!! I didn’t know that Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Joshua, Moses, Esther, Isaiah, etc., told God what they wanted to do for Him; I do believe it was the other way around!

Here, we drop in Jennie Chancy, with almost no explanation of who on earth she is! Who cares if she’s married to Matt―he’s never written any books or really done anything that anyone would know about outside of this insular little world.

Oh, now we explain who she is!

So, Voddie’s a Ph D. but Jasmine can’t go to college?

Why does he think that the culture believes you only get 17-18 years with your kids? Christian circles have always held to the idea of keeping your kids close. Why does it always have to be the other extreme?

Voddie: “There is an epidemic of unprotected women in our culture…” What does that mean?

That’s his explanation for promiscuity and abuse! When all else fails, blame the woman!

“HELPLESS CREATURES!!”

Me: He did NOT just say that!

Brother: Oy, I think he did.

Me: Miserable sod.

Cue more epic music.

Voddie: “We are stewards when it comes to her life…” Well, bless your heart!

Voddie says that he doesn’t like it when people get the wrong idea and think that his daughter won’t be educated. Well, she um, won’t. College at home, without different professors and classes, just isn’t the same.

Yes, Voddie, *sigh* “individualistically” is a word.

Does he really think he needs to tell homeschoolers to view themselves as a family unit?

Who are these women writing to Jennie Chancy? Can’t they find a cookbook that will tell them how to boil an egg? Do they have the ability to type anything into Google?

Voddie: “We are deceiving ourselves if we think that college is actually educating people.”

WHAT! You have a Ph.D!! You just insulted yourself, your professors, and all the people with whom you went to school!!! Jerk!

He thinks that his daughter at 16 is better educated than he was when he graduated college?















There are no words.

Voddie just needs to stop. Now.

Why wasn’t Jennie Chancy strong enough to stick with her dream of being a homemaker at college? I’ve stuck with mine!

Can’t Voddie quote some Bible verses? And he’s still treating Jasmine like a piece of property.

Anna Sophia: “They’re building on legitimate Christian tradition.” It’s still tradition, no matter how you swing it.

Me: “Isn’t this depressing?”

Sister: “I’m getting tired watching it.”

Brother: “It’s giving me mushy brain.” (Mushy brain is a term used in my family to describe that feeling you get when you’ve watched too much television.)

What reformation process? Aren’t you going to explain?

My goodness, Geoffrey Botkin is creepy! He makes me jump every time I see him.

The Doctrine of the Family? Where is this doctrine found other than the book of Botkin?

In submission of the law of God? The law? Seriously?

Overall message: Fathers if you fail in this, you have doubly failed. You are cowardly and emasculated. Ouch!

What country is he talking about? Soviet Russia?

A traditional Christian family is a foreign concept? Whooo… Brainwashing much?

Geoffrey: “Many viewers will not know what to think about this documentary…” Excuse me, one knows exactly what to think!

“And they may be offended by the functional biblical home.” No! Who could possibly be offended by bad theology, extremes, epic music, stereotyping, endless narcissism, brainwashing, propaganda, zombie girls, and cultish behaviour?

What’s up with the tiny child, working in the kitchen with oven mitts and no mother present?

As a matter of fact, where are all the mothers?

Daughters are instrumental “in building civilizations.” Does he think this is Ancient Greece? And of course, women are essential! We’ve all (hopefully) taken biology class.

Can someone give me a pair of boots so I can wade through this slop?

“The function of the family to make disciples of all nations” Actually, that command was given to everybody, singles and married alike, but if you want to stretch it that’s fine.

Geoffrey: (on daughters wanting to build up the faith) “How can I extend it to men of future generations once I’m married.” That’s so encouraging! I can only give the faith to my sons and not my daughters! And I have to be married in order to build up the faith! I think I’ll go tell that to the Apostle Paul.

You knew it was coming… Epic music!!!

“And patriarchally,” Did he really just use that word?

We live in a period of transition from a fiercely anti-biblical society to a biblical society. Really?

Oh, great, the zombie girls are back. Eeeps.

Not every girl will be able to enjoy this [lifestyle]? What does that mean? So some girls will fall through the cracks?

Wait. Why are you moving on without answering my question? Who’s going to fall through the cracks? Hello?

Anna Sophia: “Changing history for the better as they return to God’s law.” The law? I thought we were free from that? Which part of it? Are we going to make women impure during the wrong time of the month now too?

Really! A verse from Psalm 144!

What’s up with the epic music? How nice that Kelly did have her baby but who names their child Triumph? I guess it looked nice at the end of such an *epic* instrument of propaganda documentary.

They sure crammed a lot of heavy information into that ending… and a lot of it was total propaganda. I feel brainwashed even though I didn’t believe a bit of it.

Bible Verse Count: 1.

Total Bible Verse Count: 6.

Only six cited Bible verses in the whole earth-shattering, hour-long, documentary?

This whole thing truly illustrated the proverb (and I’m looking at you Voddie!) “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

Miserable sods.

My head aches. I think I need some tea.

Signing off.

Jesus said: “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:34-39

Ingrid

The myth of having to learn to run a household

Recently, while on the blog of a young couple lately married, I was reading the post telling of the couple’s first few months together and all those fun little things like meals and house hunting. But, I found one comment on this post highly amusing. Basically, the young woman commenting said that when she married she was surprised to find how little time it took to cook, clean, and do laundry for only two people. Yeah, only two…. You see, it’s what I’ve been saying for a long time about all this “preparing for marriage hoopla” that is constantly being pressed upon young ladies in the homeschooling community. There’s this strange amnesia that comes over these “daughters at home” speakers and they seem to forget that when you first marry…there are only two of you. That’s right. Two. And then, there may be three…. Just how much laundry do you think you’ll do when you first get married? It seems to me that those touting the “daughters at home” ritual have either brain injuries…or no imagination… or they want young women to be prepared to have triplets. Apparently, multiple births must be normal in such cases since it’s important for the daughters to know in advance how to do laundry for twelve people. :-D Only eventually, over a period of years, there may be more children―in which case, both the amounts laundry and food preparation gradually increase. Kids come in one or twos (and maybe threes but not often)…not fives and sixes and tens! They train you! Which means, and hang on to your hat now, a woman can learn as she goes (and her new husband can too… don’t these guys know how to wash dishes?). *gasp* Could it be? You don’t have to know how to cook for 10 before you’re married!!?? No! Alas! It is true! Even you can learn how to be a homemaker and parent by being one after you’re married!!
Look, there’s nothing wrong with being accomplished…. I know how to cook and sew and do laundry…and I’m not married yet. My guy likes that I’m accomplished, he says it challenges him to learn be accomplished himself… accomplishment is a good thing. But it’s not my chief end and goal in life. I don’t find my fulfillment in making the perfect turtle cheesecake. Being accomplished is not the only thing that matters. The thing that matters most in anyone is his or her faith in God and having a personal relationship with Jesus. People, of any age, should also be working on their character and growing in maturity and knowledge. Knowing how to run a household and take care of children is just one little tiny part of what anyone should know before they marry. It is totally wrong and unbiblical for anyone to make an idol out of a young lady’s ability to cook, clean, and do laundry. It’s not who they are...a young lady’s worth is not measured by how well she can cook for ten. Shame on anyone who thinks that cooking and cleaning is all a girl can do with her life and that it’s the only thing that matters.

Ingrid

Sheep in Need of Shepherd: Apply Within – Part Two

This builds upon my last post...so, if you're new I'd suggest reading Part One first.

"As the letters poured in, I realized that while God had graciously used my book to help some people, it had also raised a lot of questions…." "The main point of I Kissed Dating Goodbye was: "If you're not ready for marriage, wait on romance." But now my fellow singles were asking, "How can you know when you are ready for marriage? And once you're ready, what should you do?" To be honest, I hadn't figured that out yet. I never meant to become an expert on relationships…."– Joshua Harris, Boy Meets Girl. 1
Okay, I do appreciate Josh Harris. I like his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye; it helped bring people back to common sense. It's a big duh to me that if you're not ready to get married, (basically between the ages of 14 and 18, most people would agree that you're not going to marry at 15!) it's smart just to abstain from romantic relationships. Just wait until you're more mature and can handle the pressures. Smart. Great Idea. Bravo Josh for having some sense. Now, back to the subject at hand, Josh had some major sheep writing to him. No, I'm not being mean, I'm stating a fact. Why would anyone be so needy as to feel the have to contact the author of the book for advice on their romantic relationships? Why did Josh even write Boy Meets Girl? All I would have said is: "Sorry, guys, you're going to have to make it up as you go. Read your Bible and talk to God. Be an adult and use your head." No one can lead you by the hand as you grow up. That's something I've learned more and more as I become an adult. One thing I've learned is to rarely ask for advice, to rarely accept advice, and to only give advice when pressed. It's not to be cocky or because I think that I'm above other's advice…it's that experience tells me to listen to God and my own instincts. As I was reading Lord of the Rings, I was reminded of this by a certain quote. "Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill. But what would you? You have not told me all concerning yourself; and how then shall I choose better than you?" 2 Advice is a dangerous gift. Use it wisely.
Back to Josh Harris, why did he write Boy Meets Girl? I can think of a few reasons…the chief one being…uh, money. The first book sold well…people seem to need guidance…a new book will likely do very well…it's tempting to write more. Do you really blame him? Well, I guess I do. Personally, I wish he'd stopped while he was ahead. Courtship and Dating are so complicated that writing a book about how to do it will always be controversial and subject to lots of criticism. Well, it should be; because, there is no correct way, there is no easy way, and there is no method for success. Love is not a thing that you can diagram like a weather pattern. You don't wake up in the morning and think, "I'll fall in love today and it'll all work out beautifully." If you read a love story somewhere, you may as well say, "Well, it won't happen to me like that,"—because it won't. No two stories are ever exactly alike. You could live for a hundred years, travel the earth, hear many stories, and still not have scratched the surface of possibilities. The Gospel doesn't give us a list of do's and don'ts—it gives us principles for life and everything attached to it and that's called flexibility. God knew that rules don't work for everything and part of his plan is to make every person's story different. Love is a strange thing. "There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand. The way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden."3 If the Proverb writer could not understand it…you're not going to be able to either. But when the time comes, God will give you understanding and then you'll know what it's all about. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."4

Ingrid

1: Joshua Harris, Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship, Moltnomah Publishers, 2000. Quotation from Chapter 1, page 19.
2: Gildor Inglorian, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Book I, Chapter III, Page 83.
3: Proverbs 30: 18-19.
4: Matthew 6:34.

Sheep in Need of Shepherd: Apply Within – Part One

Many people in this world are like sheep, needing a shepherd. They have to be led. They have to follow what someone else says. They settle for second best. History shows this in every era. "What is has already been, and what will be has been before."1 Only a few people are brash enough to seize the leading position and only a few people are brave enough to stand up against them. The rest follow like sheep to slaughter. People like Doug Phillips show up every few years, proclaiming that they hold the answer and encouraging the populace to "think for themselves." In actuality, they are taught to think, talk, and reason like their leader. They have no minds of their own and are constantly looking for guidance. All their young men and women can recite is the gospel according to Doug Phillips and his minions. They are taught to believe that every word he says is true. That what he believes is the right and true thing. "Just because you are taught somethin's right, and everybody believes that it's right, it don't make it right."2 What a tremendous weight to put upon a sinful human being. I pity Doug Phillips and Scott Brown and Jonathon Lindvall and Little Bear and Mr. Botkin and his daughters and the Harris Twins and their brother Josh and everyone else in a "position of honour." Someday, these mere mortals will pass away and will go back to dust as all things do in their time. What happens to the sheep then? Their shepherd is gone… where will they go? Why must people be lead from one place to another? And Christians too! People that claim to be followers of Christ! Just who are you following? Jesus or someone else? Are you living according to His words or by a mere mortal's words? They're going to die eventually and so are you. Will what they say even matter in 50 years time? Yeah, patriarchy people are trying to extend themselves beyond their years…but I don't think it'll work. They're not God. They're not even close and neither is anyone else. "As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?" So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?"3 People do need guidance. It's a fact. But the only guidance that you or I need comes from the Good Shepherd. It's amazing how, if every day, you spend quality time reading your Bible and praying and trusting in God—you don't need any other books. It's as if your need for guidance just drains away and if you do need direction, you look to your Bible and prayer before anything or anyone else. Don't ever put anyone in Jesus' place as your Shepherd.

The Shepherd and His Flock – John 10:1-18

"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.
Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."

Ingrid

- Works Cited -
1: Ecclesiastes 3:15.
2: Jim, The Adventures of Huck Finn, Walt Disney Pictures, 1993.

3: Ecclesiastes 3:18-22.

Serving Your Father vs. Serving God

While I was doing some research for various ideas this morning, I stumbled onto post by the Botkin sisters (most of which appears below). By the time I had read half of the lengthy post, I was quite irritated and started writing as you can see below :).

Excerpts from: ~Authoritative Parents, Adult Daughters, and Power Struggles~
Italics are original article by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

“The sign of our maturity and adulthood is when we willingly submit ourselves to God-given authority and therefore to God Himself. This is a struggle, and it requires strength, wisdom, responsibility and spiritual maturity.”

Why must parents come first in the Botkin’s minds? Everything in the following article is parents first, God later.

“An adult daughter, raised well by conscientious parents, will be able to think, will know how to live sensibly, will be discerning and self-controlled and self-disciplined, and will be wise and have understanding that may, in some areas, exceed that of her parents.”

Okay, I really do not have any problems with the beginning of this, until you get to the last few words “and have understanding that may, in some areas, exceed that of her parents.” My first thought is yes, we should be able to always have a gift from God that enables us to know something a little more than our parents. Ingrid loves history and Latin; she loves to stump our family with history questions and funny Latin phrases. I am a student nurse, so that automatically makes me the “medical encyclopedia” of the family. Whenever my family has a twinge, burn, or sprain, I am always the one that diagnoses their ailment. It can get quite funny at times: “No, sorry Ingrid, your arm will not heal from its sprain for 4-6 weeks, and it may take up to 6 months.” :) It should be expected that a child, as soon as he or she starts to learn, that they will learn something that the parents do not know. I love and respect my parents, but to put it bluntly: Parents do not know everything there is to know in the world! In fact, no human being knows everything. God is the only one who knows everything there is to know! The Botkin girls make it sound like you are sinning if you happen to get a little smarter than your parents.

“The sign of maturity isn’t that we simply “obey” our parents’ commands, but that we understand deeply what our parents’ hearts and goals are, and can anticipate and even exceed what they expect of us.”

A while ago, my dad wrote me a note that said what his goals were for Ingrid and me when we grew up. Some of them were that we would have a mature faith, be a wife and mother, serve others, and never be afraid to say what was right. I treasure that note and as I look back, it has nothing selfish about “serving me and your mother” or “giving up what God wants you to do to serve me.”

“The mature daughter is the one that takes the initiative and says, “Dad, what time would you like me to get up? I know that spending time with your family before you leave for work is important to you, and I love that about you… so how can I help make it happen?” This is one thing that makes us different from mindless automatons with no wills of our own (which some girls seem mortally afraid of becoming.)”

Well, maybe the Botkin girls like to get up at the crack of dawn, but please let me stay in bed until at least 7 am! (Unless I have to leave for clinicals at a hospital at 6am). Even my dad loves to sleep in when he is off, I do not think it is necessary to shave or dress your father, or be up early to serve your father. To put it bluntly (in fact, I am hardly ever blunt; just ask Ingrid) why does it matter? If I want to be mature, all I have to do is ask my dad what time he wants me to get up in the morning?? If I asked my dad (at the age of almost 19) what time he wanted me to get up in the morning, he would start laughing. I should know by now! :)

Where do the Botkin girls come up with such ridiculous words, such as “automatons”? The first word I thought of was robot (which is correct-why can’t they just say robot?), then I thought of auto-matrons, as in an automatic robot matron that does whatever her husband says. I do have one thought: if you are not mature enough to know what time to get up (and that may just be an example on the Botkin’s behalf-but a poor example at that), and you must ask your father… you are a “mindless automaton”!! I save my precious conversations that I have with my dad for much more intelligent topics. :)

“In our household, five of our seven children (all unmarried and living at home) are adults; four of us are in our twenties. Three of us have written books. Four of us have begun our own business. Two of us have our “own” ministry. Five of us speak at conferences. All of us have education and expertise in areas that exceeds that of our parents in multiple areas. But we don’t use these facts as an excuse to “outgrow” our parents. We use these things as tools to advance our parents. To build on their vision. To establish their authority. To proclaim their names in the gates. We all have taken our father’s vision and made it our own. This knitting together of our minds, hearts, and gifts has forged us together into one powerful weapon for Christ’s glory and Kingdom. Together, we are ten times more fruitful and effective than we each would be, separated from our parents’ unifying vision.”

So: according to the Botkin’s, for our parents we are “to build their vision, establish their authority,” and “to proclaim their names in the gates. (bold added for effect)” Where do I begin?!? 1 Peter 4:11 says, “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. (bold added for effect)” According to the Bible (not Botkin’s) we are to build God’s vision, establish God as the supreme authority, and proclaim His name to everyone around us! Is that not a brave and magnificent task?

Has no one in these “serve father” groups ever read the Gospels? Jesus left his earthly father and mother and preached. His disciples left their families too. In Matthew 8: 21-22, “Another disciple said to him, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’ But Jesus told him, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead'." Matthew 4:21-22 says, “Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.”

“We only invest time in developing those gifts that will render us most useful to our Creator and King. This means dying to ourselves; it means sacrificing our personal interests and agendas. Ultimately, it means losing our lives so that we may find them. But that is the Christian life.”

Okay, this sounds promising, but wait… the look at the part about “dying to ourselves” again. If we die to ourselves and give up what we want to do in life, then we are following God, according to the Botkin’s philosophy. This makes little sense when you look at the big picture. As Ingrid says, “God gave all of us talents and abilities. If we sacrifice them, what do we have left to serve Him with?” I searched the entire Bible at http://www.biblegateway.com/, with the words “serve”, “father”, “children”, and “daughter.” I never found a verse that said “children must serve their father and/or parents, I did find:

“And ye know that with all my power I have served your father.” ~Genesis 31:6~
This is in the story of Jacob serving Laban for his daughters Rachel and Leah. If you know this story as well as I do, you know that Jacob served Laban 7 years for his daughter Rachel. Laban was dishonest and gave Jacob his other daughter Leah instead. Jacob did get Rachel as a wife, about a week later, but as a result, he had to serve Laban for another 14 years. I don't think that that is a great reason to serve your father.

“Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.” Joshua 24:14 KJV. There are many verses just like this one in the Old Testament about serving the Lord, not the fathers.

“If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.” John 12:26 KJV. These are Jesus’ words! We are to follow and serve Jesus to honor God, who is our heavenly Father. Of course, through following Jesus, we are also blessing our parents and honoring them.

“We need to see the liberty inside this grand vision, rather than looking for license outside it. Instead of repining all the things we may have to give up (e.g. “my life,” “my space,” “my time,” “my dreams,” “my schedule,” “my way,” “my friends,” etc.), we should say “good riddance” to useless, selfish, autonomous “adulthood,” and mature into loving the joy, productivity and adventure that is life in a Christian family unit.”

Jesus said “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10: 37.
If we are to serve the Lord, then we are to do what He wants. Sometimes, that can be through our parents, but sometimes it is thinking outside the box! I have my own schedule when school starts, but so do my homeschooled siblings and my parents. I am not being “selfish” if I am following my plan that was designed by God, not by my parents. My time is precious to me; when my homework and studying are done, I love playing games with my siblings, doing paperwork for my dad, cleaning something for my mom, and talking with Ingrid. I have my own “dreams,” but why should not we have dreams? Do the Botkin girls “dream” of getting married and having children? I do, and there is nothing wrong with that!

In fact, the more I think about it, it is really the fathers who are being selfish. They are blocking their daughters from following God by teaching them to be automatons.

“Observation three: A father can’t communicate properly with a daughter he cannot fully trust in. His heart can’t fully trust in you until he knows he has your hearts.”

This is a lie. It never says this in the Bible, so it sounds like more Botkin philosophy. I have not given my heart to anyone (yet!), and my dad still trusts me that I am not going to do something morally wrong and against our Christian faith.

“You’ve probably heard many times that you need to “give your heart to your parents.” What does it actually mean to give your parents your heart? The heart, called “the seat of the affections,” is the source of all passions, desires, loves, interests, likes and dislikes, convictions and opinions. Proverbs 23:26 says, “Give me your heart, my son, and let your eyes delight in my ways.”

The Botkins put the Proverbs verse there to make you think that "Oh, it's in the Bible... so I have to do it." But they don't put the second part of the verse, because in the bible, it's a comma-- not a period that ends Proverbs 23:26. Verse 27 states, "for a prostitute is a deep pit and a wayward wife is a narrow well." You have to read a verse in context sometimes to understand the full meaning. It seems that this verse is trying to say that you need to guard your heart and your emotions against sinful behaviors.

Two other verses that stuck out as I read Proverbs 23, were 15 and 19.
(15) "My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad;" (19) "Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path." It seems that these verses are speaking more to purity and intelligence.

“God wants our hearts and all that they contain to be surrendered to our parents – and ultimately to God – to be molded and directed. Making yourself vulnerable in this way requires Trust. You must trust your parents, that they ultimately desire what is best for you, and that they are qualified to lead you and guide you simply because they are your parents chosen by God to raise you.”

I love in this part how “God wants” something, but then you must “surrender to parents,” then surrender “ultimately to God.” Why are the parents first? I have given my heart to God, not to my parents. I try very hard to trust Him every day in His plans for my life. Last year, when I was waiting to be accepted into my nursing program I prayed, “Dear God, if it is your will, allow me to be chosen for this nursing program. If you want me to be a nurse, I will follow your plans for me and what you want me to do with my life for you.” It was a humbling and trusting prayer, I prayed it daily, sometimes more than once a day. Finally, when I was accepted, I felt God’s assurance, that I was following his plans for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’.” God has wonderful plans for our lives; we must follow Him and Him alone!

I feel so sorry for girls who are stifled by this teaching. We are also designed by God and have varying purposes, but if we just trust our parents to do what they think is best, we are not taking initiative and acting as adults.

“It also requires Faith. Faith that God will lead you through your parents, imperfect though they are. And faith in God’s promised blessings for your obedience.”

Back to above, why are girls taught to follow parents and not God? The Botkin girls say “God will lead you through your parents” where in the Bible does it say that??

“When your parents have your heart you will truly “delight in their ways.” You will love what they love, hate what they hate, and desire their approval and company and even “think their thoughts after them.””

The thought of not having my own opinion in any matter is shocking. :) Can you imagine believing that your parents are right about everything and that you will be so taken in that you “love what they love, hate what they hate, and desire their approval and company and even ‘think their thoughts after them’.” The Bible says in Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That means parents and children alike! It seems that the Botkins and other families have set up their parents as idols to worship and adore.

This is called “seeking after the hearts of your parents” just as King David was “a man after God’s own heart.”

“So Jesus is supposed to be after Joseph’s own heart?” Ingrid was rather irritated when I read her the above. :) King David was “a man after God’s own heart” this has nothing to do with “seeking after the hearts of your parents” which, by the way, where is that in the Bible? In Acts 13: 20-22 it says, "After this, God gave them judges until the time of Samuel the prophet. Then the people asked for a king, and he [God] gave them Saul son of Kish, of the tribe of Benjamin, who ruled forty years. After removing Saul, he [God] made David their king. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my [God’s] own heart; he will do everything I want him to do’.” It is misleading to quote verses meant for glory and honor of God and to then twist them and give them a new meaning to support your article and beliefs. Just read Jesus’ words in Mark 9:42 "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.”

Similarly, your parent’s hearts should be able to trust in you, as it says in Proverbs 31, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…” This means that they will have confidence in your obedience, when they are watching and when they’re not, that you will demonstrate loyalty to them and to every thing they have taught you, in what you speak and do, in public and in private."

That Proverbs 31 verse is referring to a wife’s heart being with her husband…not with the parents! I am so sick of people taking verses out of context! The above verse in Proverbs 31 has nothing to do with giving a girl’s (or child’s) heart to parents.

When I read the above article, I was astonished. Why are people following and listening to the twisted teachings of the Botkin girls? God told us to in Exodus 20:12 to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” That verse does not tell you to serve your father! The Bible also tells us to serve the Lord numerous times: in Deuteronomy, Joshua, Psalms, Jeremiah, Zephaniah, Ephesians, etc.... When Satan is tempting Jesus in Matthew 4:10, “Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only’”” (from Deuteronomy 6:13). Jesus understood the importance of serving God, not men. Colossians 3:23 states, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” It is one thing to “serve your father,” but it much more important to serve God! He should always come before your parents and His word should not be abused as to suggest otherwise.

Grace

Works Cited:

“Authoritative Parents, Adult Daughters, and Power Struggles” by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin. Accessed on January 10, 2008, from: http://visionarydaughters.com/2007/05/authoritative-parents-adult-daughters-and-power-struggles