Part Six: Let it Be = Love3

Another book that I don’t totally agree with is Of Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff and Danielle Myers. I really do like Jeff Myers as a speaker and home-educator but not as a courtship adviser. The book is fairly short and is mostly done in question and answer form but it’s yet another book written from one point of view. Passion and Purity is the same way, these books don’t allow much slack for difference of situation, personality, or belief. Their way is the only way and so they have to publish a book about it to make their way everyone else’s way. When I was fourteen and reading these books, deep down they always worried me because my life didn’t yet match up to the “perfect model” and what if it never did? Thankfully, God showed me that I don’t have to be like everyone else. I wish every Tom, Dick, and Harry would stop selling “their way” as the right and only way; it’s silly and unbiblical. As the Beatles say, “There's nothing you can do that can't be done…nothing you can sing that can't be sung…nothing you can make that can't be made. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy.”8 People should consider that song before they publish another book that’s already been written in ten other ways. God works individually, in relationships or otherwise; have you ever heard two different, un-connected people tell the same story? God is very original and I think He enjoys being so! The world would be extraordinarily boring if everyone was the same and had the same experiences! Anyway, I digress, here is a direct quote from Myers’ book, “If what you’re saying is true then most guys and girls will have to postpone marriage until much later than they are accustomed to. Jeff: I know that sounds unusual, but consider this: if you are between the ages of 16 and 25, you have more physical energy, more creative energy, and more opportunities for becoming an active Christian during this time than you will ever have again. Don’t blow it by investing all of your time, energy, and money in relationships that are just for fun.”9 I thought we were talking about serious relationships here, not the “just for fun” type. Why are you using that as an example when it’s not with the subject?!? Not to mention, that in my family, age doesn’t matter. My great-grandmother quit nursing school as a young woman but then, years later, when her children were grown; she went back to school and became an LPN. My mother doesn’t like that quote because she thinks you can still be active past twenty-five and I agree. I mean, come on, the most fruitful Christians I’ve learned from were over twenty-five (actually, they were probably over thirty-five) and had experience under their belt. It’s malevolent to write someone off just because they are over "the best age"! Brainwashing…brainwashing…brainwashing. The Myers’ are basing their wild assumption on what his parents did, “They were married their senior year of college…they were still living in a motel when I was born, looking for a place to live. They said, “Whatever you do, don’t repeat our first year of marriage!”10 Okay, but that’s the extreme side of marrying young. My parents and grandparents, respectively, married young, they had some struggles with money but they persevered and somehow made end meet until things changed. They were poor but now they’re comfortable and very, very, happy. Money was tight when I was born but I never remember wanting for anything or them fighting a lot; we were happy. I don’t want to marry a rich man, I want to marry a man that’s a Christian and really nice but I want to struggle a bit so we’ll mature together. Let’s look at another quote from Myers’ book, “I was 26 before I had the salary to support a wife and one or two children. The payoff for Danielle and me has been great. We have had no arguments about money — the whole issue has been erased for us. It’s not that we have a lot of money, but that we have enough to be secure. Danielle: The number one reason marriages get into trouble is over finances.”11 Well, maybe, but there are lots of things that can wreck a marriage besides money but I’d like to meet a couple that hasn’t fought at least once about financial issues. “We have had no arguments about money.”— Ha! Liar! Please tell me he’s joking! My parents have a secure income and they get in arguments over finances! I and my siblings joke about closeting ourselves upstairs every time they do bills. :-) My grandparents have a lot of money and I’ve seen them fight about it; everyone, I mean, everyone, argues about money...on occasion. :-)