What Are They For?

A few weekends ago, at a family Christmas party, I watched my eighteen-year-old cousin Christine and felt very empathetic towards her. She had just recently broken up with her boyfriend—or he broke up with her—all I know is, my aunt told us before she arrived not to mention boys or dating. Christine looked so sad and it was apparent that she was suffering. I too have suffered from broken friendships…mostly with other girls…for a variety of reasons…so, to some degree, I can understand what she’s going through. As I watched her, I thought, “That’s what ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ is for—it’s for people like Christine that wouldn’t consider skipping dating—merely because they haven’t thought it out. I was raised in a conservative Christian home and my parents trained me to believe that dating around is a waste of time. ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ just showed my why striving for that outline is a good choice. So, what are the ‘self-help’ books for? They are for people that need to think. That need to try to meet the ideals half-way. That need the practical twist. They are only for us ‘christianhomeschoolededucatedonJoshHarrisand
LittleBearsincetheageofthreepeople’ in the sense of helping us see why we believe what we believe and do what we do. Don’t you see? It’s not about perfecting ourselves! It’s about sharing the book with people that need it! I’ve done that: I gave it to a friend that that needed it (but didn’t know she did :-)) and challenged her to read it. I even bought the study guide and met with her to study it. We stopped meeting at about the fifth chapter and I don’t know it she’s ever touched it again. But it’s her’s—I wrote her name in it myself—and it’s there if she ever needs it. Who knows? My gift may help her tomorrow or five years from now. Don’t keep holding it and harping on yourself! Give it to someone that needs the message! Give it to them before they wreck their life with meaningless relationships! It’s never too late! I wish I could say that I gave Christine my copy—but I can’t. I’d still like to get it to her somehow—maybe that will be my New Year’s resolution for 2008. :-)

April 10, 2008 -- Just a note, I did loan my copy to Christine in January and it was very much appreciated. :-)

Random Thoughts

I’ve finished my school for the day and am going to post some random thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain for several days.

Wow! I made it onto Josh Harris’ blog! http://www.joshharris.com/

“Stomach-Churning Tales and First Kisses "Joshua Harris' next book, Boy Meets Girl , was a good read and again, he presents his ideas in suggestion form. I enjoyed his and Shannon's story but some of the others made my stomach churn." (Read the full post here.)”

It’s not the most flattering way to mention my essay but hey, it’s still interesting.

I’ve gotten notice from YLCF http://www.ylcf.org/ on my “Seeking Perfection” essay and waaayy more hits due to that. I had no idea YLCF had such a following! :-)

Why did they use a picture of Felicity and Arthur? Hahahae. (That’s a Latin expression of amusement.) Funny, I’m not sure if I even thought about my blog being controversial. Okay, okay, “Life in Perfect” made some people mad but they could use a bit of lightening up. It was a good joke that I thought up while doing laundry, that’s all. Let it Be = Love3 (that means love3 as in math, you know like x3 because it’s Love, Love, Love.) is the focus of my blog.

I actually clicked around at YLCF for the first time and found some interesting stuff. Why did someone comment that I don’t recommend any books, just criticize them? It looks to me like the same person wrote almost all of their book reviews. (Note: Under Maud Hart Lovelace, they forgot to mention the other 6 Betsy books. There are 4 High School and 1 traveling and 1 when she gets married. There. I recommended some books! :-D) And why would anyone care if my essay mentions courtship a bunch? YLCF has tons of courtship stories and then a whole “romance lover’s nook”. http://www.ylcf.org/romance/ Ick. Yuck. Eww. "Bad site! Mess you up!" :-D (The romance stuff not the rest of it.) Sometimes I think we focus on mushy stuff too much...waayy too much. I actually can’t say whether I like YLCF or not; it’s not really my thing but I don’t mind if it is someone else’s thing. :-) So I suppose I feel like Rick in the scene below.

Ugarte: You are a very cynical person, Rick, if you forgive me for saying so. Rick: I forgive you. Ugarte: You despise me, don't you? Rick: Well, if I gave you any thought, I probably would. ~ Rick (Humphrey Bogart) and Ugarte (Peter Lorre) in Casablanca, 1942.

That probably is the best description of my feelings about most everything—save for a good cause. Which, as we see later in Casablanca, Rick loves a good cause too. (If you've never seen Casablanca go watch it right now! :-)

Why do women write so many of the self-help books? With the exception of Joshua Harris, where are the men? I like Josh Harris books because they are very rational and down to earth. Women have too much of a tendency to be irrational—I know, because I am one. This looks like a good book and it’s written by a man, Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart.

Why does this blog, http://readevenmore.blogspot.com/ say this: “Let it be = Love3...one woman's thoughts on emotional purity--contains some good thoughts but also some unnecessary inflammatory remarks.” Ouch! Why is my site the only one picked on?! As if some of these other ones didn’t have “unnecessary inflammatory remarks.” Good grief. And the site even says, “This is a Conversation, not an inquisition or trial. There will be nothing inflammatory, accusatory, immature, or personally insulting to any author tolerated.” I find the extra commentary on my blog “personally insulting.” “I know when I‘ve been insulted! I know when I’ve been insulted!” :-D

Why do people make an idol of chocolate? You know, how girls (err…people) say, “We’ll have chocolate oooooo!!!” Eww is more like it. I mean I like chocolate but too much of it gives me a headache. So it tastes good but so do lots of things. Talking about chocolate or having a web page on it is dumb. It’s like saying: I really like asparagus so I think I should start a whole webpage on asparagus for all the asparagus lovers out there. :-D Hahahae. Actually, asparagus might need the support since it's not very well liked but chocolate does not--almost everyone likes it.

Why are so there many comments by women on blogs written by men? For instance, on a random post on James McDonald’s blog, four of the comments are from women and one is from a man. (I just said “random post” because I’m not picking a certain one. I’m not saying the content was random. :-)) Of course it’s not Mr. McDonald’s fault at all but doesn’t that seem a little weird? Where are the women’s husbands? Isn’t patriarchy about the father shaping his families vision? (I just chose Mr. McDonald blog at random...I’m not picking on it at all. :-))

Oh, here’s another book I like, Secrets About Guys: (That Shouldn't Be Secret). Because it’s informative without being over the top and very delicate—unlike the majority of books on the shelves these days. I’m still wondering why boys don’t get a book about us, if we get one on them. :-)

Read the books, memorize them, and then work out your own philosophy. It’s a lot like making up a recipe; a hint of this idea, a pinch of that one, and there you go...your very own lifestyle. :-D
Oh, I recommended more books!

Why did patriarchy catch on at all? It’s based on the Old Testament patriarchs’ right? Most of them were quite messed up. Abraham lied, Isaac chose a deceiving wife, Jacob stole, Jacob’s kids threw their brother in a well and then sold him as a slave—”the patriarchs” are more a lesson in what NOT to do. I don’t know much about this issue and I haven’t researched it at all but sometimes things just don’t make any sense to begin with. Jesus didn’t tell us to go and be like Abraham did he? Did he tell us to read Deuteronomy and follow those rules? I don’t think so. Maybe the patriarch people need to study the gospels more and really think about what Jesus said.

Okay, so what if you don’t like some of my comments, pick what you like and ignore the rest, come on. Let it Be. It’s only my opinion and my friends and family know that I can be a bit too blunt sometimes. But, sometimes you have to say what you think; even if others don’t agree with you.

Ingrid

“I have no regrets. I wouldn't have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say.” ~ Ingrid Bergman.

Seeking Perfection

Felix, Sara, Gus, and Felicity—walking through the fields.

Alec, Felicity, and Janet King.

Gus Pike and Felix King.

I’m going to use an example that most people won’t recognize but they should. The series Road to Avonlea is probably the best television show ever. It’s funny without being corny, it’s dramatic without being melodramatic; it’s real without being surreal. :-) It is set in rural Prince Edward Island, Canada, at the beginning of the twentieth century. The show begins by centering on Sara Stanley of L.M. Montgomery’s Story Girl series. In the second season, however, with the addition of a new character named Gus Pike, the series’ focus begins to shift to Felicity King, Sara’s cousin.

Felicity and Gus, soon after they meet.

The relationship between Gus and Felicity becomes the series’ main plot line, intertwined with and interrupted by features on Felix, Cecily, Sara, Hetty, Olivia, Alec, Janet, Jasper, and other main characters.


Felicity with her brother Felix. And with her sister Cecily.

In the end…well…I don’t want to spoil the final show if you haven’t seen it. :-) But, in the end Gus and Felicity end up happy.

Gus and Felicity at The White Sands Hotel…He got the night off. :-)

Now, you’re probably going, “what does this have to do with ‘seeking perfection’?” Just hang on and you’ll see just how well it applies. Gus Pike is a loner and basically an orphan. He and Felicity meet when he is about 16 and she is 13 and three quarters. (See the episode for explanation. :-)) His family is not the cream of the crop, his mother is presumed dead and his father, or the man he assumes to be his father, is in prison for murder. Talk about less than wonderful family connections! :-D Felicity, however, is from one of the best families on Prince Edward Island. The Kings are prosperous, well-connected, and stable: everything Gus Pike is not. Immediately, however, Felicity’s Aunt Hetty takes Gus under her wing: getting him into school and then, recommending him for a good job at the White Sands Hotel. She really becomes sort of a mother to him and he looks up to her for advice.

Hetty and Gus.

I don’t think Aunt Hetty knew about his admiration for Felicity at the time she got him the job; she merely sees a willing pupil and a true heart. When the relationship takes center stage, Hetty—though usually very aware of the King family reputation—shows no qualms. Neither do Felicity’s parents, Alec and Janet. Alec especially likes Gus and sees that Gus is honorable, truthful, and a hard worker. Sure, Gus makes him mad in one episode but that was Felicity’s fault when she was a hint over-zealous about asking Gus over to dinner. :-D Before he came to Avonlea, Gus was uneducated, rough, dirty, and didn’t keep in the best company. Because the Kings gave him a chance, he went to school, got a good job at the hotel, not to mention being able to get the job and home of running the lighthouse, and eventually, he married Felicity. Think of what would have happened to him if the Kings had not given him a chance. For one thing, he would have been stuck in South Carolina if…oops…I don’t want to give away the plot of a very good episode. :-) In any case, the picture below would never have been taken.



What is happening to all the Gus Pike's of our day and age? What about the young man/woman who has made one mistake in his/her past? Will they be rejected from consideration because of it? What if the family of the other young person does not think that his/her family is rich enough, well-connected, or perfect enough? If the Kings had thought that, Felicity would have missed her soul mate and there’s no telling what would have happened to Gus. As Christians, don’t you think we ought to give everyone a chance? Not just the people that are exactly like us? Shouldn’t we let young people make their own decisions about their future? Aren’t parents supposed to guide not dictate? Must we make the perspective suitor write ten (or more) essays? Especially if we know them already? Why do they need to be perfect? Is the person that you’re married to perfect? Is your child perfect? Wasn’t there only one absolutely blameless and pure person in history? Do we really need to pick on the person our son or daughter likes just because she/he wasn’t wearing the right thing? How do you know anything about someone if you just write them off at the beginning and never ask them about their life/plans/etc.? To look at me, as I come from a not-so-large family, you probably would never guess that I want to have six children someday. Unless you asked me. The Kings took the time to ask Gus about himself and his future and saw his worthiness. Don’t you think it’s time you saw the hidden worthiness of the people around you? Suitor or not, young or old. And don’t you think you could help bring it out?


Road to Avonlea ran for Seven Seasons on CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) and the Disney Channel. (Really! This was before “Hanna Montana.” Bleck!!) It won several Emmy, Gemini, Young Artist, and Cable Ace Awards. This is the link to Sullivan Entertainment; the same company that produced both of the beloved “Anne” mini-series,’ and also produced Road to Avonlea.

http://www.sullivanmovies.com/
The official site
http://www.roadtoavonlea.com/
A very good (fan)site. We love the episode guide!
http://www.avonleaguide.com/

I recommend that you buy this show…right now! :-D We bought the first season and My Aunt and Uncle have given me seasons 2—well, I’m hopefully getting season 7 this December. :-) The Season sets cost $70 each but they are fully worth it. Ask for this for Christmas. And if you can’t buy it get it from the Library or Netflix.

Thanks to http://www.gusandfelicity.com/ for some of the pictures!

This article is dedicated to a very close friend of mine...for reasons which I cannot state.

If this is collapsing, I'd like to know what collapsing is...

If you're interested in baseball or in weird articles, click the link below.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=txredsoxcollapse&prov=st&type=lgns

"....Ask any die-hard Sox fan. It is never easy. Get used to it, Boston."

Yeah, we die-hard Red Sox fans will try to get used to that 2007 World Series trophy.

And we will try to be understanding to mistaken sportswriters, because,

"It's understanding that makes it possible for people like us to tolerate a person like yourself." ~ Ferris in Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986).

Part Ten: Let it Be = Love3

This really doesn't deserve it's own part...it's more like part nine-and-a-half. :-) Still, it is important to give due credit to everyone.

~Works Cited~

1. Lady Dashwood (Eileen Atkins), What a Girl Wants, Warner Brothers Pictures, 2003.
2. Alec King, Road to Avonlea, Sullivan Pictures Entertainment, 1995.
3. The Lost Princess (1875), George Macdonald, J.M Dent and Sons, 1967, Chapter 12, page 107.
4. The Heart of the Rose; A story of purity, Mabel A. McKee, The Young Advent Pilgrim, 1940, pages 34-36.
5. The Heart of the Rose; A story of purity, Mabel A. McKee, The Young Advent Pilgrim, 1940, pages 40-41.
6. Passion and Purity, Elizabeth Elliott, Baker Book House Company, 1984, Chapter 31, page 140.
7. Stella (Thelma Ritter) and L.B. Jeffries (Jimmy Stewart), Rear Window, Paramount Pictures, 1954.
8. All you Need is Love, The Beatles, Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, 1967.
9. Of Knights and Fair Maidens, Jeff and Danielle Myers, Myers Institute, 1996, Chapter 6, pages 36-37.
10. Of Knights and Fair Maidens, Jeff and Danielle Myers, Myers Institute, 1996, Chapter 6, page 36.
11. Of Knights and Fair Maidens, Jeff and Danielle Myers, Myers Institute, 1996, Chapter 6, page 36.
12. Passion and Purity, Elizabeth Elliott, Baker Book House Company, 1984, Chapter 31, pages 136-137.
13. Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Walt Disney Pictures, 2003.
14. Princess Bedelia, Princess Tales, Nora Kramer, Scholastic Books, 1971, Chapter 1: The Practical Princess.
15. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), Raiders of the Lost Ark, Paramount Pictures, 1981.
16. Elizabeth Bennett, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, 1813, Chapter 56.
17. Ingrid Bergman
18. 1 Corinthians 13:13, NIV

Part Nine: Let it Be = Love 3

To wrap up, I will say one last thing: most of the "self-help" books tend to dissect romance and everything else down into perfect little stages with check-off boxes to fill in. Don’t treat your life like a list of things to check off! Make it up as you go and ad-lib. As Indiana Jones says, “I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go!”15 Its more fun and interesting to let things go and not try to make yourself fit into a box. Stop trying to control and plan out your life; let God control it; because He’s already had it planned since forever. Keep this quote handy, “I am only resolved to act in that manner which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me.”16 It’s your life after all, not Elizabeth Elliott’s, not Jeff Myers’, not the Botkin sister’s, not Elsie Dinsmore’s, and certainly not Heather Paulson’s. You are you and they are them; “Be yourself, be your best self, the world worships the original.”17 I will end with another Beatles song; it goes hand in hand with my message of Let it Be and actually comes first; by year of origin and by its message. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”18 For without love it is impossible to let it be.

All You Need is Love ~The Beatles ~ 1967

Love, Love, Love.

Love, Love, Love.

Love, Love, Love.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.

It's easy.

Nothing you can make that can't be made.

No one you can save that can't be saved.

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.

It's easy.

All you need is love.

All you need is love.

All you need is love, love—love is all you need.

All you need is love.

All you need is love.

All you need is love, love—love is all you need.

Nothing you can know that isn't known.

Nothing you can see that isn't shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

It's easy.

All you need is love.

All you need is love.

All you need is love, love—love is all you need.

All you need is love (All together, now!)

All you need is love. (Everybody!)

All you need is love, love—love is all you need.

Love is all you need (Love is all you need).

Love is all you need (Love is all you need).

She loves you, yeah yeah yeah.

Love is all you need.

Love is all you need.

Love is all you need.

Love is all you need.

(Lennon-McCartney)

Part Eight: Let it Be = Love3

A short paragraph on the Botkin sister’s book, So much More. I have not read the book, my sister has, but I refused to read it beyond the occasional paragraph. (I find it rather funny now that I kept on refusing to read the book....) I have seen the Botkin’s video and been to their web-site and am appalled by the amount of arrogance in their teaching. Lots of young women choose to live at home, even after eighteen, and this does not make them heroines! (Though, if the word “heroine” is used in Latin it means “demi-goddess” so maybe that’s what the Vision Forum people want young ladies to be. :-D) In one section of their website, a father and mother ask for advice on parenting their daughter. The Botkin sisters, ages 19 and 21, seem to have no end of intelligence for they readily tell their elders how to handle their daughter. That is just wrong and weird. Since when do young ladies council parents? Since when do parents ask for advice from young women? Why didn’t the Botkin’s refer the couple to their parents for answers? What kinds of parents allow their daughters to give advice to parents on parenting? The Botkin sisters are not married and don’t have kids. If an adult asked me a question on parenting, I would give them a blank look and say, “I think you’d better ask my mom.” I might give my view on the subject but I doubt that I would be the only opinion a mom would seek. On another topic, the sister’s specifications for mates leave very little room for love and forgiveness—this trend in seeking perfection is sickening. We’re not perfect—far from it, actually—yet we make specifications for a future mate that seek absolute perfection with no exceptions? Now about serving my father, I love my father! I help him with odd jobs and his volunteer work—as does my entire family. This does not qualify me for a marble pedestal, nor is serving my father (and mother!! :-) ) my chief end and purpose. My parents would be very displeased if I gave up all my thoughts, plans, and dreams just to stay around waiting for a husband. That’s basically the teaching of So Much More. Really, there’s only a certain amount a young lady can learn about housekeeping, cooking and such things. I sew, bake, and cook but my mom is always there to bail me out if I burn something up. No matter how much I help and serve my father; I will still have to adjust quite a bit when I marry because a husband is not the same as a father. The same goes for Before you meet Prince Charming by Sarah Malley. I haven’t read it because I don’t see the point. You don’t need a book to prepare you for anything; you just need to observe and use your common sense! One of my favorite fairy tales is found in a little paperback story-book that was my mother’s as a child. I found it when I was small and took great delight in reading all the little stories, but my favorite is titled, The Practical Princess. Princess Bedelia was blessed with the gift of common sense by a fairy at her christening and she uses it quite well. I suppose Princess Bedelia is one of my greatest influences; for her catchphrase is, “Use your common sense!”14 I doubt if Princess Bedelia would be friends with any of the authors of the books I’ve critiqued. Here’s my advice: Leave So Much More and any other books that try to tell you how to live, on the shelf. (With the exception of the Bible.) Spend your time serving the Lord. Whether that is by serving your father or going to college to become a doctor or going to Africa to be a missionary; I really don’t care. :-) It's your life and it's between you and God. Oh, and we used our common sense and sold our copy of So Much More on eBay. :-)

Part Seven: Let it Be = Love3

Here’s the last reason to get married quickly—once you’ve found the right person—direct from Passion and Purity. This is Elizabeth writing on Jim’s time away at college; my comments are in parentheses. “A strange thing happened during Jim’s senior year in college. He called it his Renaissance—a new openness to social life, friendships with people he did not consider specially “spiritual,” the freedom to date if he felt like dating, (Why not marry if he felt like marrying?) and a great deal of clowning, giving vent to his native flair for acting and mimicry. (Did you have him take a drug test? Have you considered alcohol?) I heard of it secondhand and was offended. (No doubt.) What had happened to him? A psychologist could explain it easily no doubt. (I’d like to hear that explanation.) Jim’s explanation was simply that the Lord had liberated him from some old restraints, enabling him to reach out, break barriers, enjoy things. He admitted that he carried it too far. (Really?) There were some “kissing incidents” reported to me in letters from other students.” (Maybe that’s why Elizabeth Elliott recommended The Heart of the Rose!) And later, he wrote to Elizabeth, after asking forgiveness, “And I am erased. If there is more that I must do, I stand ready for reproof. Do you expect yet more of me?”12 “Yes!” I would have said, “If you can all do that, you can marry me. Since you like to take chances and live life on the edge!” But Elizabeth didn’t say that, and, “If you were waiting for the opportune moment...that was it.”13 :-) That is the number one proof that Jim Elliott needed a wife whether he could make up his mind or not. I’ve read that chapter in the book several times and still do not understand what was going on in their minds. Whilst reading, I wish I could step into the book and knock their heads together, then drag them to the nearest Justice of the Peace. :-)
Joshua Harris’ next book, Boy Meets Girl, was a good read and again, he presents his ideas in suggestion form. I enjoyed his and Shannon’s story but some of the others made my stomach churn. Yes, they are nice and all but they are not the norm. I’ve heard lots of courtship stories before but these were far out. Come on, really, how many people can afford a helicopter to whisk them away from the reception? Don’t treat this as normal! The same goes for all the courtship stories I’ve read about cross-country flights and white-horse proposals. (I’d describe myself as typically romantic but if a guy rode up on a white horse and asked me to marry him, I’d probably sock him in the jaw for embarrassing me in front of the neighbors. That, or run away, yelling, “No way!” or “Who are you again?” or “Help! He needs his head checked! Someone call 911!” I haven’t decided. :-) ) Thankfully, there are no white-horse proposals in Boy Meets Girl but there is the big issue: the first kiss.
Having never been kissed, I cannot draw from personal experience but I can say that kissing seems to be highly over-rated. So over-rated that Christians are encouraging each other to wait until the wedding day to share their first kiss in front of 10-500 people. It must be wonderful if it requires such an audience! Funny thing, I’ve never seen my parents kiss in public—they barely hold hands while out and about—and they didn’t wait until the alter to kiss. Most of my friends’ parents kissed before they got married and seem fine; it’s not like they went past kissing. Let’s see, who else kissed before marriage? Betsy and Joe (of Betsy-Tacy), Laura and Almanzo (of Little House), Jo and Fritz, Amy and Laurie (of Little Women), Anne and Gilbert (of Green Gables), Irene and Curdie (of Princess and the Goblin), Rilla and Ken (of Ingleside), my grandparents, my great-grandparents, and the list goes on. They didn’t seem to have any trouble. Josh Harris handles this subject well and doesn’t expect every couple to follow his and Shannon’s lead. But others do and try to shove this teaching down everyone’s throats. Not everyone is going to fit into this box and I don’t think it’s fair to try to make people feel bad over a non-salvation issue. I think I’d rather have my first kiss in private when I become engaged and not in front of a crowd of wedding guests. But that’s my and my fiancé’s choice, not anyone else’s. This is a personal choice for everyone and should not be mandated by any man-made rules. Case Closed.

Part Six: Let it Be = Love3

Another book that I don’t totally agree with is Of Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff and Danielle Myers. I really do like Jeff Myers as a speaker and home-educator but not as a courtship adviser. The book is fairly short and is mostly done in question and answer form but it’s yet another book written from one point of view. Passion and Purity is the same way, these books don’t allow much slack for difference of situation, personality, or belief. Their way is the only way and so they have to publish a book about it to make their way everyone else’s way. When I was fourteen and reading these books, deep down they always worried me because my life didn’t yet match up to the “perfect model” and what if it never did? Thankfully, God showed me that I don’t have to be like everyone else. I wish every Tom, Dick, and Harry would stop selling “their way” as the right and only way; it’s silly and unbiblical. As the Beatles say, “There's nothing you can do that can't be done…nothing you can sing that can't be sung…nothing you can make that can't be made. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy.”8 People should consider that song before they publish another book that’s already been written in ten other ways. God works individually, in relationships or otherwise; have you ever heard two different, un-connected people tell the same story? God is very original and I think He enjoys being so! The world would be extraordinarily boring if everyone was the same and had the same experiences! Anyway, I digress, here is a direct quote from Myers’ book, “If what you’re saying is true then most guys and girls will have to postpone marriage until much later than they are accustomed to. Jeff: I know that sounds unusual, but consider this: if you are between the ages of 16 and 25, you have more physical energy, more creative energy, and more opportunities for becoming an active Christian during this time than you will ever have again. Don’t blow it by investing all of your time, energy, and money in relationships that are just for fun.”9 I thought we were talking about serious relationships here, not the “just for fun” type. Why are you using that as an example when it’s not with the subject?!? Not to mention, that in my family, age doesn’t matter. My great-grandmother quit nursing school as a young woman but then, years later, when her children were grown; she went back to school and became an LPN. My mother doesn’t like that quote because she thinks you can still be active past twenty-five and I agree. I mean, come on, the most fruitful Christians I’ve learned from were over twenty-five (actually, they were probably over thirty-five) and had experience under their belt. It’s malevolent to write someone off just because they are over "the best age"! Brainwashing…brainwashing…brainwashing. The Myers’ are basing their wild assumption on what his parents did, “They were married their senior year of college…they were still living in a motel when I was born, looking for a place to live. They said, “Whatever you do, don’t repeat our first year of marriage!”10 Okay, but that’s the extreme side of marrying young. My parents and grandparents, respectively, married young, they had some struggles with money but they persevered and somehow made end meet until things changed. They were poor but now they’re comfortable and very, very, happy. Money was tight when I was born but I never remember wanting for anything or them fighting a lot; we were happy. I don’t want to marry a rich man, I want to marry a man that’s a Christian and really nice but I want to struggle a bit so we’ll mature together. Let’s look at another quote from Myers’ book, “I was 26 before I had the salary to support a wife and one or two children. The payoff for Danielle and me has been great. We have had no arguments about money — the whole issue has been erased for us. It’s not that we have a lot of money, but that we have enough to be secure. Danielle: The number one reason marriages get into trouble is over finances.”11 Well, maybe, but there are lots of things that can wreck a marriage besides money but I’d like to meet a couple that hasn’t fought at least once about financial issues. “We have had no arguments about money.”— Ha! Liar! Please tell me he’s joking! My parents have a secure income and they get in arguments over finances! I and my siblings joke about closeting ourselves upstairs every time they do bills. :-) My grandparents have a lot of money and I’ve seen them fight about it; everyone, I mean, everyone, argues about money...on occasion. :-)

Part Five: Let it Be = Love3

Now we come to I Kissed Dating Goodbye, The Dating Trap, and Passion and Purity; even after my careful scouring, I have few problems with I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Joshua Harris is sound and honest and practical; most of what he says can be applied to everyday life. Plus, unlike other authors, he doesn’t cram his ideas down the reader’s throat and say that you must follow them or else die! :-) Ditto to The Dating Trap by Martha Rupert. I heartily recommend these two books to every person over fourteen.
Passion and Purity is a sweet story of Jim and Elizabeth Elliott’s romance; basically good with great suggestions. I have but one criticism and it is an important one. Jim tells Elizabeth that he loves her, yet, does not propose; he merely states that he is not sure if he is supposed to marry. “Well why did you say anything?!?” My mind shouts at him as I read. :-) Elizabeth writes that her own father told his sons never to say, “I love you” without following with “Will you marry me?” I probably would have been neatly blunt with him; some people need a firecracker lit under them. Jim, from what I can tell, was kind and nice but rather intense and seems to think over things too deeply. Later in the narrative, Elizabeth recalls speaking with Jim’s mother. “I helped Jim’s mother with the laundry one morning, and as she was hauling the sheets out of the machine she suddenly said, ‘I know these Elliott men. They can never make up their minds. If I were you I’d tell Jim it’s now or never.’ I knew very well what Jim’s answer would be: never. I would just as soon leave myself room for hoping. I felt annoyed at her advice. She was putting Jim in the same box with the rest of them, his father and two brothers. I was trying hard to believe that he had a better reason than merely being unable to make up his mind. His mother shook my confidence.”6 Well, golly, I wonder why? Could it be, that his mother was telling you what you knew all along, but refused to realize? I would think that as his mother, she knows a lot about him and a guy really cannot be that different from his father and brothers. Here’s what I think: if you’ve found the person you love and want to marry; get married as soon as possible. If you’ve found them, that would mean that God brought you together; don’t wait for Him to spell it in fireworks because He already has! Let it be and quit over-analyzing! You never know what might happen; Jim and Elizabeth were married for exactly two years and three months before he was killed by the Acua Indians. It was five years from the time Jim told Elizabeth he loved her until they finally got married. Looking back, I’m sure Elizabeth wished that Jim would have made up his mind faster. Here’s a conversation from the movie Rear Window, between L.B. Jeffries, (Jimmy Stewart) and his nurse Stella, (Thelma Ritter). “Stella: Look, Mr. Jeffries, I'm not an educated woman, but I can tell you one thing. When a man and woman see each other and like each other, they oughta come together—wham!—like a couple of taxis on Broadway, and not sit around analyzing each other like two specimens in a bottle. Jeff: There's an intelligent way to approach marriage. Stella: Intelligence! Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence! Jeff: Now, we've progressed emotionally. Stella: Baloney! Once, it was see somebody, get excited, get married. Now, it's read a lot of books, fence with a lot of four-syllable words, psychoanalyze each other until you can't tell the difference between a petting party and a civil service exam. Jeff: People have different emotional levels. Stella: When I married Miles, we were both a couple of maladjusted misfits. We are still maladjusted misfits, and we have loved every minute of it. Jeff: Well, that's fine, Stella. Now would you fix me a sandwich please?”7 Everyone ought to watch Rear Window; they might learn a thing or two. :-)

All you Need is Love

Here is a link to Scott Brown's article: "Why I Hate the Beatles."

http://www.scottbrownonline.com/ScottBrownOnline/Welcome_to_Scott_Brown_Online/Entries/2007/10/12_Why_I_Hate_the_Beatles.html

A few questions...

Did Jesus hate anyone?

Has He ever encouraged us to hate?

Yes, God hates evil but He gave Nineveh (and Jonah) a second chance. Don't any of you watch Veggie Tales? :-)

Doesn't Jesus love everyone?

If He loves everyone--then no one can be His enemy. (Except the Devil...and etc.)

What are we doing to reach the "rock and roll generation" besides passing judgements and turning up our evangelical noses?

I don't agree with some of the things the Beatles said or did but neither do I agree with some of the things King David or Jacob said or did.

God always leaves room for forgiveness so shouldn't we?

Part Four: Let it Be = Love3

5: Emotional Purity makes a big deal of being absolutely, perfectly, pure for your future mate. While there is nothing wrong with aiming for this, it is absolutely impossible! If you’ve made a mistake somewhere, the book actually makes you feel bad and regretful, even though you’ve moved on. I don’t think that is right. Of all the things that have happened to me, the most painful have been because of contact with others, but I am glad I had them. God uses our fights and frustrations, our disappointments and tears, as a way of getting through to us. Every time I’ve been really hurt, I can look back and see that God wanted to get my attention and sharpen me. As Rosamond goes through the trials of the Wise Woman, so do we go through the trials of the Christian life. The example just given is from George Macdonald’s, little-known story, The Lost Princess; in which the princess is taught by the Wise Woman and undergoes trials to test and sharpen her. The Wise Woman says, before they begin, “‘Rosamond, if you would be a blessed creature instead of a mere wretch, you must submit to be tried’ ‘Is that something terrible?’ asked the princess, turning white. ‘No, my child but it is something very difficult to come well out of. Nobody who has not been tried knows how difficult it is; but whoever has come well out of it—and those who do not overcome never do come out of it—always look back with horror, not on what she has come through, but on the very idea of the possibility of having failed, and being still the same miserable creature as before.’”3 I can truly say that I’m very glad I went through every trial I’ve had—not to have experienced it would have been to stay “the same miserable creature as before.” And the thought of having failed to change is horrifying! Our trials make us stronger, anyone can tell you that. Do you think Scarlett O’Hara regretted any of the things that made her strong? What about Ilsa Lund in Casablanca? Esther? Ruth? Rahab? What about Queen Elizabeth I of England who endured a lonely childhood and rough young-adulthood before ascending to the throne. Obviously, God began molding her at an early age into the wonderful ruler she became. The only way to be physically strong is to train your muscles to work and move as you want them too. Do you think that you will automatically become strong when troubles arise? No, you have to train your mind to work under pressure. You can’t just stand there with quivering lips and faint when problems arise like some of the girls in G.A. Henty books or Miss Elsie Dinsmore. I like several of the Henty books but one should not have a steady diet of the same type of thing. Try some Dickens or Shakespeare for variety. I’m going to digress for a second to bash Elsie Dinsmore: the books are unfit for anyone to read. They are as mushy and sappy as trashy romance novels; Elsie is over-dramatic, brainless, and weak. Why anyone would want her for a role-model is beyond me! I’ve skimmed Elsie’s Girlhood—very sappy and over-dramatic—and two of my girlfriends showed me Elsie’s Kith and Kin; we looked in disgust upon the first page where Elsie and her husband have a kissing session. (At least I think it was Elsie...maybe it was a relative of hers. Anyway, it doesn't matter.) We slapped the book shut, exchanged looks and my friend said, “That’s why we hate the Elsie Dinsmore books.” There are so many works of literature that are better than Elsie Dinsmore; try Betsy-Tacy or The Sarah’s Journey series instead. This brings up a very interesting point; are we trying to make women weak? I don’t want to be a guy, I love being a girl but I’m not just going to be weak and wimpy to make men feel strong. Think of a woman’s mentality during WWII, “I won’t/can’t join the army but I’ll help it along by serving in USO’s or at factories making equipment. If I sit at home nothing will get done and the country will fall apart.” You can maintain your femininity and still be spunky and strong. It’s all in personality and character; there are as many wimpy men as weak women and as many strong women as courageous men. I’ve noticed that several of these Christian instructional books use a very pathetic woman as an example and that is just not right! There was a book written, titled The Heart of the Rose, by Mabel A. McKee, in 1940. (Remember, just because a book is old, does not mean it’s good. It can be written from a biblical world view and still have nothing but fluff printed on the pages.) It has since been reprinted and I purchased this little book at the same time as Emotional Purity and Passion and Purity. On the back cover is a recommendation from Elizabeth Elliott, so I assumed it would be good. The story is a simple one: the brother is heading off to college, he and a pal are saying goodbye to two of their girl friends and then, later, the boy’s older sister instructs him in purity. It is written in the typical “flowery” style of Grace Livingston Hill and other late-nineteenth/early-twentieth century Christian authors. When I first read it, I enjoyed it but something wasn’t right. It took me awhile to figure out what but it is simply this: the girl that the young man likes, “Rose”, is number one, your typical blushing, shrinking, washout, weakling. She can’t seem to make up her mind and allows the young man hold her hand, though she acts like she’d rather not allow him the liberty. Later, the sister talks to her brother, “‘If you had kissed Rose tonight, it would have been easy for you to kiss her again. You haven’t yet, have you?’ He shook his head. ‘I am so glad,’ she continued. ‘It will be so much better for her. If she permits you these familiarities, she will permit others the same ones. She may soon become as reckless as Dorothy, and then we dare not think of the future.’”4 Read that twice please. If this logic is correct, then, I suppose that if you kiss your wife she will allow other men to kiss her as well? What kind of woman is so weak that she can’t keep herself for one man?! The conversation between sister and brother continues on for several pages, this is what the sister says, in response to the boy’s asking why he can’t let Rose know he cares for her. “‘You mean you will crush the petals of your own rose, and then enjoy the heart when it is opened. When you come back you may not even want to see the heart when it is opened; you are just a boy. If you do, there will be times when you will see those crushed petals and be sorry. You may blame yourself, but you will probably blame Rose. You may grow so discontented that you will blame another man. If you know she allowed you these caresses, these little familiarities, you will think she would allow others.’ He spoke with pride, ‘I know Rose.’ ‘We will look at it from her side. After she realizes those petals have been crushed by you she may be afraid of the future. She may be afraid that you have wondered far into the garden and come back to her a worn-out traveler. She may be afraid that you will not appreciate her and that you will not deal rightly with her.’”5 My, my, how far we go in making a point! Rose must be like Elsie Dinsmore—over-sensitive and romantic. In Rilla of Ingleside, Rilla promises her sweetheart Kenneth, that she won’t let anyone else kiss her while he’s gone fighting in World War I. She keeps that promise, though they do not meet again, until four years later, when the war ends. She is never, not once, afraid that Ken won’t appreciate her or not deal rightly with her. The Heart of the Rose’s basic message, once you plough through the melodrama, is to keep yourself pure for one person. That’s a great thing! But I don’t think using the example of an extremely weak girl is very convincing; there are other books that can make a point without resorting to that.

Part three: Let it be = Love3

4: I’ve heard a tape of Heather Paulson speaking at a Homeschool convention; her talk was better than the book. She basically gave practical advice on controlling your thoughts and keeping yourself in check but she made at least one odd statement. That your level of devotion is like a post-it note; if you keep using it, then the “glue” will get worn out and you won’t be as devoted to your mate as you could have been. At first hearing, this seems logical, but think again, and apply it in a life situation. Take a nurse for instance, one that loves her job and wishes to do as well as possible; if she has three patients on her rounds, will they not all receive the same level of care and devotion? How about a mother with six children? Will she not devote herself to all six equally? Or will her level of devotion have gone drastically down by the time the sixth arrives? What about you? Say you have three friends and you like them all equally, but for different reasons. If you go to a hockey game with one, a flower show with the other, and then swimming with the third; will your devotion be gone by the time you get to the third? Sure, I understand that the idea is not to devote yourself romantically to someone that you’re not married too. Why not just say that and leave the brainwashing logic out of it? Brainwashing is basically presenting a load of clap-trap with a few facts and fancy sounding names thrown in; it sounds pretty but won’t hold up in the wash. That’s why I’m very leery about people that write in a flowery, exaggerated way; you must read it over several times to gather any meaning and I always wonder, “What are they trying to hide?” I believe that both young men and women should keep their hearts for their future wife/husband but in a practical sense. You don’t have to agonize over it nor do you have to ignore every member of the opposite sex. A young person should not be made to feel guilty for having a harmless crush on someone else, as long as you don’t act on it and behave yourself, they are perfectly normal between the ages of 9-15. What kind of people read Emotional Purity? There are those like me; that can see what is practical and what is not, but then there are the slightly naïve boys and girls and even adults that take every word as if it were Holy Writ. The young people have no experience in romantic relationships and don’t stop to think before they over-examine their own relationships. This can ruin perfectly normal friendships, between boys and girls, between cousins, and it can strain old ties. “It’s silly, but they live by it. And I lived by it, too, once. ‘Till I saw what a toll it took on the people who I love most.”1 They should not be living by someone else’s personal philosophy! These books are suggestions! The only book to live by is the Bible, no self-help books can ever measure up to God’s word and common sense and instinct. Basically everyone teaching these “rules” has made a mistake somewhere and wants to keep others from making one like theirs. That’s admirable, as long as it makes sense and holds up to biblical standards. Still, be wary and check it out thoroughly before you buy it. If a person can write a book and get someone like Elizabeth Elliott or Doug Phillips to laud it, then they have a sure ticket of making a bunch of money. From people like you and I. That gives you pause doesn’t it? With all the “Christian” self-help/instructional books out there, it makes you wonder how many authors simply write fluff to make money. It’s really not that different from the “Christian” record labels, putting out low-talent young artists just to make a buck. “Just remember the words of P.T. Barnum, ‘There’s a sucker born every minute.’ ”2 He was and is correct but I’d rather not be the easy target. How about you?

Part Two: Let it be = Love3

2: The book states that when relationships are broken, the people involved tend to build a “wall” around their hearts. What it forgets to mention, is that in any relationship you allow yourself vulnerability and therefore, any relationship can hurt you. From your grandfather dying, to getting in a fight with your girlfriend—there are many things that can wound you or break your heart. The definition of a broken heart is simply this: to cause somebody intense unhappiness or suffering. I have lost friends, been wounded by others, had family members die, and gotten in major fights with those close to me—all of which has caused me intense unhappiness and suffering. I’m not as vulnerable or naïve as I was when I was seven—I’ve naturally become very protective of myself due to the normal up’s and downs of life. Does that mean that my husband will need a “pick-axe”, as the book says, to get close to me?
3: Telling people—women especially—that their supply of “heart glue” (used figuratively in EP as the healing balm for a broken heart) can be used up, is an out and out falsehood! God gives you loads of the stuff and I use it all the time—life isn’t a joy ride you know.

Life in Perfect

New Walgreens commercial:

Tinkling intro. music plays...softens...soft voice speaks:

"Somewhere there is a place called Perfect.

Where parents offer their children anything, from meeting Titanic survivors to buying almost the entire set of G.A. Henty books for only $1,400.00.

And it is only $700.00 when on sale.

Where there is family integrated church.

With a potprovidence meal afterwards.

Where the children are seen and not heard.

And so are the women.

Where, after the sermon, father enjoys debating and discussing issues with other men.

And the women are taught by Jennie Chancey.

Where vile American Girl dolls are banned.

And girls play with the Beautiful Girlhood dolls.

Where the men vote for the household.

And women do not vote at all.

Where the girls are content to let the boys have all the fun; while they sit using their pewter thimbles, sewing scissors, and needle cases.

And then have a tea party.

Where the girls serve their fathers.

And can always recite the words of the Botkin sisters.

Where the young men and women are taught all about courtship and held to the highest standards of Emotional Purity.

And the young women plan their weddings in detail and dream all sorts of swooning romantic dreams, just like Elsie Dinsmore.

Where the pretty girls marry Vision Forum interns.

And the not-so pretty ones stay home with Mother and Father.

Where Doug Phillips officiates.

And gets a bird's eye view of your first kiss.

Where college for anyone is frowned upon.

And women don't need schooling at all.

Where people talk and write like a walking 1865 dictionary.

And use words that Shakespeare didn't.

Where having a baby is referred to as Militant Fecundity.

And you name your child Modeste Perseverance Truth.

Where families must have at least six children.

And only a few exceptions are made.

But since you aren't anywhere near perfect; there's Vision Forum. Open every day, sometimes 24 hours. Where you can buy whatever you need to try to make your life perfect and like ours--because we know it isn't.

That's life...this is Vision Forum.

Part One: Let it Be = Love3

Let it Be = Love3
By
Ingrid

Let it Be ~ The Beatles ~ 1970

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.
(Lennon - McCartney)

(I would put the whole song on but I don't want to infringe on any copyrights; I find that it's best to play it safe. :-) To get the full effect of this song, try to find a Let it Be album and a record player...and listen slowly. )

It’s not a good idea to gather your philosophy from rock music but in this case, the Beatles are right on. Let it Be. Three simple words but they have more meaning than most people have in their lives. One of my closer friends—who also happens to be a huge Beatles fan—once said, “I think people need to let it be a little more often.” This, of course, made both of us laugh but it is true. If people-Christians especially-could let things go, this world would be a wonderful, beautiful place. I’m writing to suggest that we stop fussing about issues that don’t matter in the long run; issues such as courtship, dating, the treatment of women, and emotional purity. I will be presenting some fine points and facts but no one has to “buy” what I say unless they want too. We will also uncover a lot of lies and brainwashing. I will present the facts as best I can but I want to let people make their own decisions; it’s up to them to run their lives.

A book by the name of Emotional Purity came out several years back; I purchased and read it, at about the age of fourteen. My ideals were being shaped at that age, for I also bought at the same time, Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliott. And, I had in my possession, I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy meets Girl by Joshua Harris, and The Dating Trap by Martha Rupert. At first read, Emotional Purity seemed to have its philosophy straight and I agreed with much of what it said. Then when I was sixteen, I began to reexamine my foolproof system and the books that had influenced my thinking. No book was safe from my sharp critique and I found many flaws in the teaching they presented; in Emotional Purity especially.
Here is a list of inconsistencies & indoctrination, presented in the book, Emotional Purity by Heather Paulson.
1:The example of the couple at the beginning basically ignores all common sense. The girl meets the boy and she breaks several rules of the female code that all girls are supposed to know.

• Never hug a boy—don’t allow him to touch you at all. Handshakes not hugs are appropriate for someone you’ve just met and are building a friendship with or even someone you’ve known for forever. I have older guy cousins and several very good guy friends, whom I’ve known all my life, and I cannot remember hugging any of them—ever.
• Never let him call you late at night—or any other time—unless you have a real problem, request, or concern. Even then, you keep it short and to the point.
• Never share personal information—keep him guessing. That’s part of the fun of being a girl. Well, if you’re really friends you’ll know what’s okay to share and what’s not—you just have to use the discretion that God gave you.

Part two will show up within a week.

Under Construction

The blog is up but still under construction! I won't be posting until I get some things sorted out; probably some time after October 8.