Life in Perfect

New Walgreens commercial:

Tinkling intro. music plays...softens...soft voice speaks:

"Somewhere there is a place called Perfect.

Where parents offer their children anything, from meeting Titanic survivors to buying almost the entire set of G.A. Henty books for only $1,400.00.

And it is only $700.00 when on sale.

Where there is family integrated church.

With a potprovidence meal afterwards.

Where the children are seen and not heard.

And so are the women.

Where, after the sermon, father enjoys debating and discussing issues with other men.

And the women are taught by Jennie Chancey.

Where vile American Girl dolls are banned.

And girls play with the Beautiful Girlhood dolls.

Where the men vote for the household.

And women do not vote at all.

Where the girls are content to let the boys have all the fun; while they sit using their pewter thimbles, sewing scissors, and needle cases.

And then have a tea party.

Where the girls serve their fathers.

And can always recite the words of the Botkin sisters.

Where the young men and women are taught all about courtship and held to the highest standards of Emotional Purity.

And the young women plan their weddings in detail and dream all sorts of swooning romantic dreams, just like Elsie Dinsmore.

Where the pretty girls marry Vision Forum interns.

And the not-so pretty ones stay home with Mother and Father.

Where Doug Phillips officiates.

And gets a bird's eye view of your first kiss.

Where college for anyone is frowned upon.

And women don't need schooling at all.

Where people talk and write like a walking 1865 dictionary.

And use words that Shakespeare didn't.

Where having a baby is referred to as Militant Fecundity.

And you name your child Modeste Perseverance Truth.

Where families must have at least six children.

And only a few exceptions are made.

But since you aren't anywhere near perfect; there's Vision Forum. Open every day, sometimes 24 hours. Where you can buy whatever you need to try to make your life perfect and like ours--because we know it isn't.

That's life...this is Vision Forum.